Entiendo

Me detuvo la tormenta
tu torpeza
mi inseguridad...
Lo siento.
Torrentes de sangre azul se deslisaban
por las ramas disecadas de los sauces,
las pocas luces iluminando las esquinas
las tremendas cortinas de tierra...
Fantasmas con paraguas luchaban
contra la invisible potestad del cielo
corrian como los relojes
se refugiaban del tiempo.
Apenas pude verte a lo lejos
y quise como nunca ofrecerte mi casa
el calor de los versos
la soledad de mi cama (porque ya no duermo)
Pero no pude.
Como animal cirquense en el acto
indomable, fingi ser fiera (incapaz del escape);
mas tu mirada jamas fue infiel a mi destino.
Me detuvo la tormenta
tu torpeza
mi inseguridad...
Yo entiendo.

The worst of me

Days of glory, of brightness, of stand-still.
Days of shyness, of enlightenment, of mist surreal.
I look back in sadness to those moments
for they never were.
I look back tearing, the lack of feeling, the issues aware.

No rhyme
No song
No melody.
No innocence
No blindness
No emphasis.
NO!
There is NOT a way
it never was
I don't want it to be.

Scratching a drafted life
uplifting my heartbeat,
no regression to crayons
no rain forecast...
Days of stand-still I remember
and I pray
they never to be real
nevermore to awake
the worst of me again...
never to bring you in.

Far Behind

From all the things I said

I regret not a word alone:

not a sight

not a look

not a face of indiscretion

I do not,

I simply choose not to.

Far behind in time

when I used to dwell in your gap

thinking that perhaps

water could run backwards for a while;

Far time ago

when I raised and molded the statue of false

out of sand

salt

and spit...

when I didn't think the wind was ever going to come;

So long ago

when the fluids of coherence stopped

running through my soul (and I drained)

and I became a "worst"

by own conviction (I thought)

but over the creepiest dug hole

I yet held to fall;

So far behind

I think I should let

the love ( I thought) I ever felt for you to lay

on its own foundations:

those which I and me alone built.

You have the right of nothing to feel

for nothing you have given to me...

I blame your instinct

your lower race heartbeat

my ever trusting genuine innocence

(addressed as stupidity)

and I chose not to regret.

trespassed

Like a cup smashed between two steel plates... 
I'm trying to build up my heart again from the pieces i have left.
But the impact was so deep, 
the pieces so thin, 
so indistinguishable, 
that some of them have trespassed my skin.

And bleeding so little, 
through so painful wounds, 
all over what i used to be but i don't think i longer should,
it's not letting me breath,
is keeping me from justice.
Is it worth it? I don't know. 
I'm not strong enough to hold that thought.

I was pushed between two different roads
and chose not to choose, and yet the game began.
You have turned me into what I have become.
You know, so
Don't ask
don't speak
don't think
don't bother. 

Like a cup smashed between two steel plates
I found myself unrecognizable.